I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
