Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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