I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
