She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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