But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
