You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
