would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
