I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
