Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
