Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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