My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
did i just pee glitter
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