I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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