you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I have post one night stand depression
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
