he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
