if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
