I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
