Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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