its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
