I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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