If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
