? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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