I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
