The maid of honor just puked.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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