dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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