She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
