Got a toothbrush?
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize