I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
