We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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