I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize