We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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