i just google imaged poop.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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