question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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