I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
