I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
