Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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