Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
