Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
