May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
