dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
