I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
