i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
