Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
