i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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