The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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