My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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