Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
