Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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