Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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