Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
