She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
