One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
