do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
