yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
