I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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