when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
