erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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