Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize