I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
