new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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