If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
