I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
