I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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