how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
