but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
