forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
