I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
